I bought a new PC last night, Its a really confusing task to me.

So many options, all with different levels of performance, price, and look.

What do I get, how much shall I spend.  Because, no matter which you buy, you face the inevitable question then next day, "You paid how much for that?  Why didn't you get a -----, or buy it at ------, you've been had!"

Well I bought one at Staples, and the price was right for what I wanted, the sales guy was quite helpful, and like the commercial said, "That was easy!"  So its done, and I'll get it in a week.

Its really the same for any large purchase, rather than care mostly what I think of it, I get hung up in what other people will think.  Will it meet their approval.  Why should I care?  I don't know, sometimes its just hard to to think it matters.

I went on a walk through memory lane today, figuratively and literally.  Took a nice walk Downtown San Jose, back through my college, passing the buildings I once took classes in.  Got to thinking, as I often do, of the years that have drifted by, things I liked from those times, things I miss, and some things I don't miss.

I'm pretty good and thinking of my past, not so good at thinking of the future, and often quite horrible in living in the now.  Of course literally I could only live in the now, just my brain is often not to present for it, I guess I'll enjoy the wonders of 2007 when I look fondly back upon it from a 2009 perspective?

I somehow think this is one of my "issues" or things that needs changing in my life, I need to embrace the now in a better way, cause life is just drifting by. 

Basically for all I've accomplished, its somehow not how I wanted to be at 30 years old.  Its not that I really know all that I wanted by now, but I do feel that I've not attained some things that I should have.  Hmm, enough with the regrets, I suppose.  Better to just live in the now, if I can.

enjoying Kona Hawaii just wanted to try updating with my brothers iPhone. Be back home Thursday night. Aloha & Mahalo!

I took a much delayed health screening, tested cholesterol, blood sugar levels, blood pressure, BMI.  The short story is, I need to get things under control, everything was on the edge of to high, just over the normal range.  So, should not be a big deal to make some healthy changes, but, still will take some effort.

I think of this in a larger sense though, I know mentally I'm wanting to find a new pace in my life, and now having measured my health, my body is in need of a change.

I could try and blame my work schedule, and its partly to blame, but a lot of it comes down to me.  I need to better manage my life, but in so, relaxing, and finding a peace, I only glimpse of at times. I dont know why I should be so stressed, but I clearly am.  I feel it mentally, and physically.  Well, I'm off to a week on the Big Island of Hawaii, for a week of relaxation and reflection.  I hope that is a place to hit a reset button.  Of course I have to eventually come back to work and all that has for me, but I need to approach how it interacts with my life in a better way.  I"m not sure exactly how yet, but I will endeavor to make changes, beginning now, not later. 

To many times I think of doing it later, after the summer, well, after the holidays, well maybe this spring, and well maybe this summer, and before I know it, another year spins by.

So I begin now. 

Well, I finally did it, I became an owner of an iPod.  I was promised one for my birthday, and Dad finally decided to brave the Apple Store with me, so we headed down to the mall, fought the crowd and I ended up with a new green iPod nano!  New to iTunes and this whole new realm, I look forward to carrying the little card that is the iPod vs the large book that was only a portion of my CD collection.

So another thing of the 90s (even 80s really) falls behind me, and I march further along in this brave new world.

I'm still waiting for the flying cars though? 

I've been working at home the last couple days, and its a nice change of pace from the office.  And I've not yet driven my car, it sits in the garage for days, as I can walk to the stores from my home.  Eco friendly and lower stress, Its a Good Thing!

Mid year review.

I had a mid year performance review at work today.  Though I feel I do a good job, I still felt kinda blah or disappointed by the experience.  Working for a large corporate entity can make you feel like a nameless drone, at least that's what it does to me.

A blank canvas, a new day.

Some days I struggle with finding things to do, and all the while still feel trapped in life, wondering why I dont have time to do anything? 

Sure I'm sitting here at home, I got up and went to church, but now what do I do with the day, or any day.

I kinda like to lie low on the weekends, stores, the beach, bike trail, and parks are all just more crowded than I like.  I love the weekdays when I can have it more or less to myself.  I like quiet more than noise.  A beach to myself is better than a ticket to the Superbowl, for me anyhow.  I usually use Sunday to spend time with friends and family, let the house stay a little frumpy till Monday, laundry can pile up one more day.  Read, contemplate, sip coffee or tea.  A quiet Sunday afternoon is what I think is best to do with today.  A day of rest!  There is some Godly wisdom in setting one day of the week to rest and quiet.  Ahh Sabbath!

Myspace is an interesting little tool, I'm sure most people know already.  But it got me to thinking, how one can look up almost anyone (of my generation and younger generally)  and there is a reasonable chance you can find them on myspace.  You can see pictures, find out where they are in the world, know if they are married, single, divorced, gay or straight, have kids......... lots of, and perhaps too much personal info?

So I was just running through my mind, looking for past friends and acquaintances, seeing who I could find on myspace.  I've found a few.  But it makes me then wonder, add them as a friend?  Its a little harmless, but it opens up the past as well, especially when there are folks you've not seen or talked to in a decade or more.  I found someone that I had not talked to in about 10-11 years, and I wondered, should I say hi?  Why should I?  Is it even welcome?  Would I be dragging up a past that is long forgotten and irrelevant today?

Well I'll ponder it, but I think I should probably leave it alone.

whats going on in life today, not sure.  I'm seeing the changing seasons in the retail world, with fall catalogues in the mail.  Its actually been a mild summer thus far, here anyhow, I know its been beastly hot in the Eastern States.

Hmm, I guess I'm seeking more changes for myself, and I look at fall somehow being a place to find that.

Fall is my favourite season, to me it is the new year and the place to begin.  Its the conditioning school gave me of course, but it seems to be a natural place to find new things.  So, as I'm better settled in my home, I hope to find other new things in the fall.  I guess a lot of that requires being proactive on my part, though I'd like to imagine new things will just find me.  I guess I have to look for new people, places, and things to do.  Really just trying to turn the page and get the next chapter off and running.  I feel like I've been in the same rut ever since I finished school, same job, moved a few times.  The only new thing I have is that I bought a place, and that will become an old story in time.  I guess the next chapter is the boyfriend one.  Where do I find the alleged soul mate.  And I suppose alleged is the best term, but I'd like to believe these people exist?  Are they out there?