October 6, 2009
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I’m still processing things, but getting more along. I’m stuck here now, very much in my own world. I forced myself to go out and explore some, and in the wake of things I wonder if its ok just to be a romantic at heart.
I went out shopping today, and picked up the new Reba McEntire album, and it was inevitable I’d find a line or two that would speak right to me, and this bit from, Consider Me Gone, kinda contains it,
If i’m not the one thing you can’t stand to lose
If i’m not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don’t get drunk on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this then i guess we’re done.He can stand to lose me, I must not get to the heart of him, he does not get drunk on a kiss from me, he would like to see if he can do better, any of these or more, but I guess I could not feel good being with someone merely going along with me, just not to hurt me. He knew it, got bold, and well its does hurt, but I suppose it will hurt less moving on now, rather than later.
I have to admit it, but well, this is what I really am looking for, someone who wants me more than anyone else, someone who would feel that much for me, and I would in return, feel for them. I tried to play like I could settle for less, and yes I still have to go out and meet people and be open to that, but what I am looking for, is someone to spend forever with. I don’t think there is any shame in admitting it. I’m a good, quality person, and I need to remember this, and go on, I will find him. Its just not easy, but then loves true course never did run smooth.
